Thursday, 11 July 2013

Open Letter to Ladies Who Think "All Guys are The Same"

Dear Sisters,

It is very regrettable that most of you resent us so much. In spite of this, most of us in most cases do not reciprocate your resentment towards us. Those of us who do this do it for one major reason: whether we like it or not you ladies will always be our mothers, sisters, girlfriends, fiancées and wives and the cycle will continue on and on.

While we may put up with you on many things, one thing most of us can’t stand, which we wish you could change is your rather ‘erroneous’ perception that all guys are the same. I am writing this letter to all the ladies out there and hope to, at the end, prove to you all that all guys are not the same! So let’s get into it.

I've found there are two types of ladies. The first type thinks that all guys are the same. Sadly, I've found that ladies with this ideology hardly find true love because (1) they most often encounter bad guys which reiterate their belief that “all guys are the same.” (2) They never realize it when a good guy comes around and treats him with the same resentment they would treat the bad guys.

I also realize that the perception that all guys are the same is just the symptoms; the real cause of such notion is a history of abuse by men, fathers, uncles, brothers, bad relationships. This is what had created such a bad and sometimes very evil notion about guys in the minds of these ladies.

Many a time, the ladies who have this perception that "all guys are the same" easily become players, moving from one guy to another, and they may also easily fall prey to temptations of lesbianism. So, what often starts as a mere resentment of the male figure could deteriorate into something serious and detestable such as lesbianism and promiscuity.

What can one do if she finds herself in the situation described above? Well, I wish I have a perfect answer, but honestly I don't. So I will just suggest two solutions. The first solution is God. Yes, the reason many women resent men so badly is because they have been hurt in the past and have not healed completely. If you are going to heal completely from the hurts of the past then you are going to need God's help to do that. Jesus Christ came to the earth as a Saviour, but also as a Healer. The scriptures say, "By his stripes we are healed" (Isaiah 53:5). So trust God to heal you from all the hurts of the past and pray for grace to approach life with a renewed sense of hope.

The second thing one could do is to stop generalizing. There are millions of men in this world and if indeed you have been hurt by some, the number will be very minute if compared to the average number of men in your country or community. So with all due respect, I think it is unfair to use the misbehaviour of the 'few' men you have encountered as a yardstick to say that all men are the same. Learn to use the legal principle, "every suspect is innocent until proven otherwise". In other words, think of all people to be potentially good until you have cause to doubt their integrity. This will ensure you don't treat good guys badly when they come around.

Now back to the second type of ladies in the world. The second type is those who may have been equally hurt by men in the past, but unlike the first group, these think that most guys are the same but there are still good guys out there. Know the difference: the first group thinks "all guys are the same" but the second group thinks "most guys are the same but there are still good guys out there".

Due to the notion of the second group that there are still good guys out there, they use what I call the "back up plan". That is, they fall in love initially with just one foot forward, study the guy carefully, and if he is good then they then give him their hearts completely.

In life we don't always get what we want, but with wisdom and faith in God, we can conquer every problem and live a joyful life. Issues of the heart have to be dealt with carefully and we will therefore be blessed to follow the command in Proverbs 4:23: "Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life"
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